chances taken,

i have found i question life as much as possible, everything we do is taking chances even if you know what your outcome is going to be. i am questioning more and more every single day. for instance when i cross a road without pedestrian crossing, the distance between me and that car, measuring everything within the distance/speed/time triangle, i am taking a chance on whether that car is going to slow down, continue it's pace or if this risk was taken to close for a reaction time, thus me being hit.

when people remark on risks i take i dont find it as offensive or maybe not take to it as much as i should, hannah, why are you trying to tan (skin cancer), why are you smoking (various cancers), why do you have so many sugars in your tea (diabetes). it's that don't care enough about myself. there's a certain perspective which i have but maybe is not the right one to have, i mean.. we are all going to die right? suffering (unless sudden death) is something so many people live their lives in fear of. the reality of it all is that suffering is something we are all going to have to face, whether we like it or not. we all have such unique different life path's but then we are all dead, my point being, what's the point of living if we don't take risks, if you dont take chances then you will not learn sufficently.