Tuesday, June 2, 2009

love is an illusion.

since the early years of teenage-hood, i have watched my parents twelve year marridge fall to pieces, and now i can't even remember when they were together. i miss feeling like i have a close family, doing family things, now it is rare to even eat dinner together; but im getting off the point.

i have watched not only my own relationships, but all the peoples close to me's relationships crumble, ive seen and experienced so much hurt, and it's just gotten to the point where i find myself terrified of getting too close to someone. even if it seems to be going well, i scare myself out of it.

so just know that in no way do i feel superior to you.
even though i seem harsh and heartless, i hate myself so very much for hurting you, im just stopping it from doing even worse.

if only i could get some warmth and closure to this feeling, this belief, someone to find me that truely understands me and how i feel and can bring me out of this.

love; the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.

No comments:

Post a Comment