clicking in;

finally, some reassurance my life is falling together again.

tommorow it will be a whole week i have gone without one single drag of a ciggarette, i've had huge cravings and everytime i see a packet in a strangers hands, see a handful of buds in a gutter, have my morning tea or coffee that i was so used to accompaning with a b&h red, i can control myself. i don't think i've ever been so proud of myself, physically. i did this mostly for my dad, on monday night while driving me to the train station to head to sydney he told me he spotted me smoking with glenn last week and even though he didnt make such a big deal about it i know deep down it hurt him, and i love him more than any family member, daddy's girl. he explained how he heard a song about cancer on the radio that day and it reminded him of when his mother died, him being at the rare age of nine didn't really understand what was happening and she was flown from western australia over to melbourne to get treatment for breast cancer. he told me how upset he was about never being able to have that last goodbye because the doctors never told the family she was on life-support, i felt so much sorrow and guilt that i had kept from him that i had been smoking regularly since april 08, but in restrospect, it gave me alot more will power to finally stop before this tar in my lungs did too much damage.

i havent dug into my bank account or got any cashout of my savings account in as long as i can remember, this will help when i look for my car.

i've sold the red c-rolla today also $2,800.
and i've sold the playstation 2, $80. which is shortly going to be replaced with an xbox 360.

i cleaned out my desk and wardrobe today, nice and hygenic now.

also got to see jack on monday which was lovely even though it wasn't long enough, always makes up from being in another state the rest of the time.

i don't think i've wrote about it yet, but also on monday i experienced my first tattoo, probably not the best choice for my first one considering the intense pain of feet tattoo's, but i love it and i cant wait to get the other done so i can be symetrical again, haha.

im so happy at the moment, i love my friends, i love my job, i love my family.

im cleaning out my life and it feels so good.